One More Time

One More Time

The Lindsay M. Benton Volleyball Tournament Round Two was a great success!!! Thank you to everyone that came out to start the day in sweatshirts and ended the day in T-shirts and shorts. It was a beautiful day to enjoy family and friends. As always the entire staff at Captn’ Bill’s Backyard Grill were the most gracious hosts. Thank you John and Erin and your incredible team for always making us feel like family, for your attentiveness, your infectious smiles and the best hugs ever. Thank you for running both tournaments to perfection and thank you for always making us feel like we know what we are doing. We are already looking forward to next year. Please take a moment and enjoy the slide show (with pictures from both events) below.

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 The foundation works very hard to get sponsors, donations, raffle prizes, t-shirts, swag bags and teams to come out and play. Our tournament in September was a success as far as the raffle, 50/50 tickets sales and donations went. A lot of money was raised for the charities we support, but not a lot of teams showed up to play in the actual tournament. You see, it was one week after one of the worst hurricanes to ever cross the shores of the Atlantic spiked our corner of the world. Volleyball, as you could imagine, was not priority one for a lot of people in our area. Once again Capt’n Bills came through in the clutch, stepped up and gave us Round Two. The generosity that comes from Capt’n Bills is amazing. Our main goal for this tournament is the same for all foundations, to raise funds and awareness, but it is also our goal to provide a fun filled day for everyone. We want to provide an atmosphere that will make each person that attends want to come back the next year. To have a day that promotes family, fun and unity. It makes my heart happy when people come up to me, shake my hand and tell me,”Thank you for a great day!” “Thank you for having this tournament, we had a blast!” “We will be back next year.” As a foundation we will be winding down for the holidays, but will be back in full swing January 2019. Thank you to every sponsor, every person that donated, every person that volunteered, every person that said a prayer, every person that played, and everyone that supports the Lindsay M. Benton Foundation. See you at Capt’n Bills in September 2019.

On another topic, my book, “A Father’s Grief, A year of Healing” is doing well. It will never make the New York Times Best Seller List, nor will it ever make a million dollars, but it is doing what it was intended to do, help people. This book has been a bittersweet journey for me and that is just what I tell people when they say, “It is hard for me to say this to you, but I truly enjoyed your book.” The tears I have seen when a mother or father that has lost a child hugs my neck and tells me “Thank you.” When a wife of many years loses her best friend, her husband, tells me how the book taught her that all grief is different. That she now knows that there are different levels of grief. That you don’t have to lose a child to appreciated the book. When a husband reads the book and hands it to his wife and says, “This will change the way you look at time and make you aware of how precious every moment is.” When parents that have not lost a child tell you they have healed relationships, broken down walls and have a new outlook on life. A line, from the books forward, written by Dr. Huffmon reads, I wish the two of us had gone through our lives blissfully never knowing each other. If we had never met, this book would have never been written and Brad would have his beloved Lindsay Lou.” That line says it all for me, I wish this blog, the book, the foundation, the fundraiser, the book signings, the speaking engagements, the scholarship, the funds at Lindsay’s school never existed. Because if they were not here, Lindsay would be. For the past two years this has been so hard for me to say, everything happens for a reason, when in my heart there is no reason. I have to believe that everything that has come from Lindsay passing, has been for just that, a reason. Since changing the past is not a possibility, THIS is what I, we, must do to continue to honor Lindsay and to be able to move forward without allowing the grief to consume our lives. Thank you for helping us move forward.  I would give it all up, give it all back and give it all away just to hear her say one more time, “Love ya Dad.” 

Rewind…

Rewind…

This is week thirty four of me posting my blogs. I never realized it would reach so many people. Never in a million years would I ever think my words would be read in over thirty countries by thousands of people. I can only hope it has brought some sort of healing to another grieving parent, and some understanding to those looking in from the outside.

Today I am going to reintroduce myself, Lindsay and my family. I want to give you an update on what the Lindsay M. Benton Foundation has accomplished in the past year and let you know where we are heading this year.

For those of you who do not know me my name is Brad Benton, I am Jarrett and Lindsay Benton’s father. I am writing this blog for two reasons, one, it is very therapeutic for me and two, I’d like to share what I have learned as a grieving father.

As many of you know Lindsay was in a car accident on August 21, 2016, it was the Sunday before her first day of class for her senior year. After an emergency surgery, and a week in the STICU at NHRMC Lindsay passed away the following Sunday, August 28, 2016. She was 17 years old.

Lindsay, was a lifetime student at Wilmington Christian Academy and was to be co-captain of WCA cheerleaders, a sport she loved. Lindsay had a dream to be a doctor, a saver of lives and a leader in the medical field. She always knew she had a calling in this field and it changed from one concentration to another until she attended the National Youth Leadership Forum for Medicine at Chapel Hill the summer of 2016. During the nine days she spent at UNC she decided she wanted to be a Trauma Surgeon. My favorite message from her during that week was “Dad, I am having the time of my life.”

She wanted to help people; she wanted to use her passion to be the best surgeon she could possibly be, she wanted to mend broken lives. Well, in her passing, her dreams were fulfilled, as she was an organ donor and through organ donation she mended and saved lives.  Little did we know how many lives Lindsay touched during her time here on this earth. We have heard story after story of her “therapy” sessions, her kindness to strangers and her ability to bring reason to difficult situations. To quote one of her tweets, “Don’t ever argue with me, you will lose.” I am assuming she was not including me in that tweet. She was a tenacious, head strong and independent young woman who had her entire life planned out.

She had an infectious smile, a steely stare, and a contagious room shattering laugh. She could melt your heart or make you pound your fist against the wall. She could debate any topic like a pro, and not give up until her point was across. She would hold the smallest of creations with the gentlest hands but she would beat a punching bag until her knuckles bled, and she used gloves. She was a friend, a leader, a captain, an advocate, a lover of life and her guinea pigs. She was also a daughter, and sister, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin and a friend to many. As parents we think we know our children, but we have come to find we did not know how many lives our daughter had touched. What a blessing it has been to meet so many wonderful people through this.

She was my little girl, she was a big part of my heart, she was my Lindsay Lou.

Although we all miss Lindsay dearly, her legacy lives on through the Lindsay M. Benton Cheer and Art Fund at Wilmington Christian Academy in adjacent with the Lindsay M. Benton Foundation. The Cheer and Art Fund was established to help the cheerleaders and the parents at WCA. Our goal, through this fund, is to help with some of the cost the parents incur and to allow the cheerleader’s to gain equipment, help with some travel expenses and allow them to be the absolute best they can be. Be the best they can possibly be, this was a goal of Lindsay’s. Through the Lindsay M. Benton Cheer and Art fund the Lindsay M. Benton Foundation also funds the Lindsay M Benton Cheer Scholarship. This scholarship is presented to a cheer leader that is in good standing and has been excepted to a secondary educational institution to peruse a career in medicine.

The Lindsay M. Benton Foundation was established to bring awareness to organ donation and the importance of donor registration. The Foundation will also financially contribute to Carolina Donor Services, Patriots In Pink, The New Hanover County Special Olympics, as well as the Lindsay M Benton Cheer and Art fund at Wilmington Christian Academy.   We will have one major fundraiser, a volleyball tournament, each year and this year it will be on Lindsay’s birthday September 29th at Capt’n Bill’s in Wilmington NC.  We would love for each of you to come and be a part of Lindsay’s legacy.

Th First Year:

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Our first year was hard, it was emotional, it was heartbreaking but it was also rewarding. We are thrilled to announce that we, as a collective group, were able to raise $8,900.00 in ONE DAY at the First Annual Lindsay M. Benton Volleyball Tournament. The total amount raised the first year of Lindsay M. Benton Foundation was over $19,000.00! We were so honored to be able to donate $4,000.00 to Pretty in Pink, New Hanover Special Olympics and Carolina Donor Services! (Our goal was $1,000.00 each!) We were also able to donate $2,250.00 to the Lindsay M. Benton Cheer, Art & Scholarship Fund at Wilmington Christian Academy as well as $500.00 towards the 2017 Patriots in Pink Fundraiser to help Going Beyond the Pink. 

 We as a family, and representing the Lindsay M. Benton Foundation, were asked to attend and speak at conferences, symposiums, state meetings and to hospital staff. This was also emotional, as we relived the day of Lindsay’s accident and the day she passed away, but it was also rewarding to see the smiles, the tears and the hear how Lindsay and our family has touched so many lives. speakl 2 We will continue to speak and tell Lindsay’s story as well as the importance of becoming an organ donor. April is Donate Life month and April 13th is Blue / Green day. Wilmington Christian Academy has asked that we attend their daily chapel on April 10th and share the importance of being an organ donor. I have asked that a special guest join us, the special guest is the recipient of a very special kidney, Lindsay’s. She will be sharing the recipient side of organ donation and how it has changed her life and her families life.

 

Please visit the foundation website at http://www.lindsaymbentonfoundation.com for so much more information on Lindsay, and the foundation. We can also be found on Facebook and Instagram. Please consider being a sponsor, a volunteer, or donating to the Lindsay M. Benton Foundation. Mark your calendars for September 29, 2018 and make your way to Wilmington NC, Capt’n Bill Backyard Grill at 4240 Market St. You can also register your 4 person co-ed team for the tournament the week before the twenty-ninth.

Thank you so much for all the support, love and understanding you have shown me and my family. Please continue to keep us in your prayers and please continue to support the Lindsay M. Benton Foundation.